Harper: Three Months Old

Last month, I said that time was passing by too quickly and I still feel the same way. I can't believe Harper is three months old. This past month was full of so many milestones and I'm just in awe of how she's growing and developing.

I go through phases of thinking she looks huge some days and tiny on others. She is definitely chunking up nicely and this mamma sure is happy about that after all of the weight gain issues she had in the beginning.

I also returned to work last week so that has been an adjustment.  As I mentioned in a previous post, my husband took two weeks vacation to stay home with Harper before she starts daycare.  I think it will be more difficult once she actually starts daycare because I will be doing most of the pickups and drop-offs since daycare is on my way to work, so that will be a whole new routine to get settled into.  Harper starts daycare next week so I'm hoping she loves it and thrives there. 

Right now, I'm just slowly getting back into working.  My first week back wasn't bad at all, in fact, it went much better than expected. I worked a four day week and my bosses have been incredible very understanding, easing us back into our jobs.  I like to be busy at work though, it makes the day go by faster.

It also helps that I'm able to pump at work and have access to a hospital-grade pump a few offices down from where my desk is.  Not having to lug that pump back and forth has been a blessing because it's one less thing to think about when I leave the house.

Here are Harper's three month updates and photos:

Weight: I'm guessing she weighs somewhere around 13-13.5 lbs. She is really filling out those adorable cheeks and she has the chunkiest baby legs. I just love them!

Health: Harper has been healthy, we feel really blessed. I'm sure next month will bring challenges since babies tend to get sick for the first time at daycare.

Sleep:  Harper still sleeps a lot, but her naps are starting to get shorter during the day---though some days they're a little longer if she's really tired. During the day, she has naps between most feeds so we feed her and then we play, usually on her activity mat and then she will get tired and nap for an hour or two.  

At night, she sleeps an average of 7-8.5 hours without interruption. It depends. She was sleeping better when she had her last bottle at around 10 p.m. but then everyone was telling us we needed to start her bedtime earlier so we're trying to get her down earlier and we noticed she doesn't seem to sleep as long.  We usually give her expressed breast milk before bed so it may be that she's digesting it more quickly than formula and is hungrier sooner. Someone told me that she should be sleeping 10-12 hours at this age but that seems long for three month old who gets breast milk---feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

One of my favorites from the set...

 I call this her "WTF mommy" face. LOL.

Social: Since she's been vaccinated, we've enjoyed taking Harper out to run errands and to eat at some of our favorite spots. We are also setting up baby playdates and she will get to meet my friend's twins---our babies are just 10 days apart! Harper's daycare class is six boys and one other girl so I'm sure she will meet some friends there as well.  Fall will be more fun because we can take her to outdoor places and won't have to worry about the blazing heat. I am just about dying of excitement at the thought of taking her to a pumpkin patch. I may pass out from the cuteness of that moment. 

Diet: Harper is getting 90% expressed breast milk. We supplement with formula as needed, but most of the time it's breast milk and more often than not, we're at 100% breast milk. We typically only feed formula either right before bed as a last feed or if she wakes in the middle of the night, which is rare.  I'm pumping about 36 ounces a day, on average. Harper wants to eat all.the.time. She used to get 4 oz every 2 hours and now we feed her 5 ounces every 2.5 hours. She makes it 3 hours once in awhile, but usually around 2.5 hours she is a hungry little bear. This girl likes to eat (she gets that from me!)

Clothes: We skipped right past the newborn sized clothing and pretty much did 0-3 from the very start. She's also fitting into 3 and some 3-6 month clothing. It really depends on the brand. She has fit into a few 6 month items from Target but the Crico brand tends to run small.

Baby Gear Love: I'll have her three month favorites post up very soon.

Crying: Harper cries if she's hungry or if she's overly tired and fighting sleep. She doesn't cry a lot but when she does it's heartbreaking. The other night, Kevin and I were eating dinner and Harper was finally starting to drift into nap after being really fussy for quite awhile and Kevin dropped his fork on the floor and it was so loud it woke her up and she was screaming/shrieking/crying and totally inconsolable.  It was so upsetting that when I picked her up, I started to cry too. Poor Harps was so tired. I definitely gave my husband the death stare, even though it wasn't his fault. Welcome to parenthood, y'all. Emotions run rampant. 

Likes: Harper likes tummy time, her swing, her Lamaze toys and naps. She likes to smile and loves her O-Ball and her Pottery Barn Kids bunny lovie. She loves sleeping on my chest and likes to be held while we walk around so she can look at the world around her. Harper also loves bath time. Sometimes she starts to cry a little when we are getting her out of her clothes and diaper at night because she knows it's coming and she just wants to get IN that bathtub. LOL.

Postpartum: My OB released me a couple of weeks ago and told me I could start to work out again so that was a great milestone in my recovery.  My recovery was delayed for an additional six weeks because of my D&C surgery but I'm feeling good now and I'm just so thankful that I'm healthy.  

Now if only I could find the time and energy to actually work out. I miss having muscles and feeling strong.  I've lost most of my pregnancy weight, save a few pounds, but my body definitely isn't the same as before (and it shouldn't be, seeing as I grew an 8 pound baby and didn't work out for an entire year).  I'm in no rush to get into any kind of crazy workout routine, but I would be lying if I said I was perfectly happy with my body. I think anytime I don't work out I start to feel weak and have less energy and I miss being toned. Since my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me, there hasn't been a lot of motivation on my end to really get into any kind of fitness routine. I also worry about how exercise would impact my milk supply.  I eat constantly and I'm hungry constantly.  I still wake up at about 4 a.m. to pump because that's when I get my highest output.  I go back to sleep after that and wake up so ravenous that I'm nauseous and I have to eat a granola bar before even showering in the morning...so I don't see any kind of diet or super intense fitness routine happening anytime soon. I feel like my body needs all of my energy to make milk right now so that's my priority.

Emotion-wise, I'm all over the place. Some days I feel like I'm doing great and other days I'm so tired that I just want to cry and go to sleep for 12 hours. Even though I get decent stretches of sleep, I feel an extreme lack of energy. I'm also seeing a physiotherapist this week because I messed up my neck from hunching over so much when I pump. More on that another day...

Milestones: Month three has been full of exciting developments. Harper can hold her head up so well now especially during tummy time.  She can also roll over from her tummy to her back (she started this at about 2.5 months) and she has rolled over a few times from her back to her tummy as well, but only on the softer surface of our bed during snuggle time (supervised, of course).  She also babbles a lot now and makes all kinds of fun noises and little shrieks. It's adorable.  She's swatting at and grabbing her toys and she also puts her hands in her mouth constantly...wait until she discovers her feet, ha! Watching her learn so much has been so incredible. I'm looking forward to all of the things she will learn at daycare and the socialization she will get with other babies too!  See Harper rockin' tummy time in this video.

 

 Her "mamma I'm horrified" face...

Thanks for reading and wishing you a great week! :)

Baby Girl Style from Joules USA (adorableness within!)

I was contacted recently by a company called Joules to check out their baby clothes. As soon as I clicked the link to check out their selections for baby girls, I swooned over the entire collection. The company, based out of the UK, has the most adorable outfits for little girls---I picked items from both the rose blossom collection and the pony collection.  Their baby boy items are equally cute! Scroll to the bottom of this post for a 20% discount code on joulesusa.com!

I ordred size 6-9 months since the pieces I picked for Harper will be great for fall and winter (they don't fit her just yet- the sizes seem to run on the larger side, even for 6-9 months, just FYI for anyone placing an order). The fabrics are super high-quality and I was really impressed with the thickness of the fabric when I first opened the package and unwrapped each item. This is good stuff, y'all.

One item Harper can wear now is this adorable rose blossom bib.  This baby spits up, drools and can be a messy eater so bibs are essential.  I like that this bib is smaller because it's really cute for going out and it adds a fun pop of color and pattern to any outfit.

My husband took this set of shots and I love how they turned out!

 Here are the Joules baby pieces I selected for Harper:

Baby Girls Zip Through Hooded Fleece, Creme Pony

Baby Girls Baby Grow, Blossom Pink

Baby Girls Dress, Creme Pony

Baby Girls Lizzie Dress, Blossom Pink

...and some more shots of little Harps wearing her fave new bib:

The best part of this post, other than Harper's cuteness, is that Veronika's Blushing readers get a 20% discount code on joulesusa.com!  Just use the code BLVB at checkout. 

I can't wait for them to release a new collection so I can pick up some more pieces because the styles and prints are really unique and fun. Happy shopping and I hope you and your little one loves these pieces as much as we do!

A Posh Party

Last Thursday night, I slipped into my trusty Parker dress and put on a pair of heels I had never worn before and when all was said and done I looked in the mirror and was all "who is THIS girl?" It was a funny feeling getting all dressed up after months of wearing nothing but comfy shorts, tees and flip flops (hello maternity leave!)

The occasion was a Posh Party, hosted by Poshmark and co-hosted by Brooke, Meghan, Lynne and myself.

I styled my hair in classic, loose waves using a 1.5 inch Hot Tools curling iron

Dress- Parker (similar, similar, similar, love this too) |  Shoes- Steven by Steve Madden (or here) | Necklace- GroopDealz.com 

Bethany and me

I have been asked a lot if I will resume doing blog sales---and the answer is that now you can shop my closet any day of the week on Poshmark!  It's much easier for me to use from an administrative standpoint because the shipping labels are sent right to me and then I don't have to go to the post office and wait in line with tons of packages and spend 30 minutes getting separate mailing labels for everything. Now that Poshmark has made it so easy for me, I've decided I will reguarly list items for sale to go to a better home :)

You can shop my closet on the Poshmark app (my username is "veronikasblush") or on the poshmark website, here.

Wishing you a great day!

First Day Back...

My first day back at work went well.  It was a short day and it was nice to see all of my co-workers. I'm so lucky to have such great friends at work and a few even gave me welcome back cards and wrote notes on my white board, it was so sweet.

I think I haven't had a meltdown yet because I know Harper is being cared for by her daddy and she isn't in daycare yet. I know she will probably have lots of fun there and learn a lot but it's still going to be hard to drop her off there for the first time...and tenth time, I'm sure.

As I pursued my closet this morning, I realized that I had to be mindful of what I chose to wear since it had to be pumping-friendly.  I have some dresses that are definitely not options for pumping because I'd have to lift the entire dress up to gain access to properly place my pumping parts.

I wanted to wear something comfortable since it would be my first time pumping outside of my own home so I went with a simple tee (hello, I'm obsessed) and dressed it up with a sparkly necklace.  It was also the first time I have worn a pencil skirt in more than six months. I got this one on major sale at J.Crew (FYI, the popular No. 2 pencil skirts almost always go on sale so wait it out if you can!)  I promise my tee looked better earlier in the day but my husband took these shots after my commute, so I apologize for the mess.

Tee- Target |  Skirt- J.Crew (striped version, similar, similar, cute dress version) | Shoes- Steven by Steve Madden |  Necklace- J.Crew Factory (also LOVE this one) |  Watch- Michael Kors

a shot of Harper and me before I left for work in the morning

Having a hospital-grade pump at work means I don't have to lug my pump to and from work everyday which makes me feel incredibly blessed. I did bring it today just in case my pumping attachments didn't work for some reason but they worked just perfectly. Now all I'll have to bring are my pumping flanges and my milk storage bottles and a little freezer bag. It's perfect!

I also did some meal prep yesterday so that all of my lunches were ready for the week. I made salads with cucumbers and radishes and cut up strawberries and peaches for snacks. Then every night I make a turkey and cheese sandwich on pumpernickel bread to eat with my salad or I bring soup.  I also re-stocked my desk drawer with Luna bars, Nutrigrain bars and some other snacks like nuts. I like to keep my desk stocked because I eat every 2-3 hours so I really need to have food on hand at all times.

I ended up brining three massive bags to work. I won't need to bring my pump anymore but once we add a daycare bag to the mix I'll probably be carrying quite a few bags out the door.

I wish you all a wonderful week and thank you so much for all of the comments and emails of support about going back to work. It really made things easier to cope with hearing your experiences. 

Back to Work Tomorrow

This is a post that's difficult for me to write because like most new mothers, I'm devastated that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Twelve weeks just doesn't seem like enough time. You're just settling into motherhood and your baby is looking at you, smiling at you, rolling over and starting to grasp toys---and it's so exciting to watch your baby develop right before your eyes...and then suddenly you go from those blissful days of being with this new life 24/7 and you have to start a whole new routine---one that involves being away from your baby eight plus hours a day.

Her smile melts my heart.

Harper learning new things everyday...

I haven't been away from Harper for more than 1-3.5 hours or so since she was born, other than the time I was in the hospital for my emergency surgery, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've left the house on my own in the past three months (to go to the doctor/dermatologist, one evening event and to run out for groceries and get my hair colored and cut before returning to work). Every time I left the house, even for a short time, I kept remembering the clock was ticking and my time with her is limited (that's why I love that a lot of things can be accomplished online these days during Harper's naps---from paying bills to ordering practically everything I need in life on Amazon).

Going back to work after 12 weeks is an especially hard pill for me to swallow because as a Canadian, I grew up in a country that offers a one year maternity leave and all of my friends from back home get to have that wonderful year to be with their babies (by the way, if you are Canadian, the worst thing you can say to a mom that doesn't get as much leave as you do is "I can't believe you have to leave your baby that early!"). I'm a Canadian living in the US, by choice, and those same incredible benefits just don't exist here and I don't think they ever will, which is incredibly unfortunate. Imagine how much more productive women would be in the workplace if they didn't return to work absolutely exhausted and emotionally fragile (well, that's how I feel, at least).  I realize some US women don't even get 12 weeks of leave which is a sad reflection on our society, but it is what it is.

The silver lining is that my husband is taking two weeks vacation to watch Harper before she enters daycare.  Originally, we had planned for him to take an entire month off (he has a lot of vacation time saved up since we didn't travel when I was pregnant) but right after Harper was born, Kevin got a major promotion at work so we decided the timing wasn't right. I'm so proud of how hard he works for our family.

I feel blessed that Kevin will have this special bonding time with Harper as I transition back to work. I know a lot of moms who write pages and pages of instructions for their husbands or other family members, but I've been pleasantly surprised with how natural fatherhood has been for Kevin. I'm not sure he had even held a baby before Harper was born and yet he cares for her like it's second nature for him and just loves being a dad. And I know he misses her when he's gone at work all day so it's wonderful they will get to have this extra time together. 

I have very mixed feelings about going back to work. On one hand, I love my job and feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment and satisfaction via the work that I do and on the other hand, I love Harper so much and love being there every second of the day that leaving her seems too overwhelming to process. I wonder how I'll even function with how exhausted I feel many days (Harper sleeps for 7-8 hours but I stay up late to pump and wake up in the middle of the night to pump to keep my supply up). There's some comfort in knowing that all new moms feel this way going back to work (although I've also heard of moms being really glad to go back to work---I'm just not there at all). I have a co-worker and friend who had her babies 10 days before Harper was born so it's nice to have someone who understands and is going through the same thing.

A few nights ago, I was giving Harper her nighttime bath and when I wrapped her into her hooded towel she looked so tiny and I just had a little bit of a meltdown. I cried that I didn't want to go back and I didn't want to leave her and how could I be away from her, etc... it's hard. After talking to some of my mommy friends, I know this feeling is completely normal and that it's actually not that bad once you get into the routine of going back to work.

Ultimately, we decided that me returning to work was the best option for our family. When I was pregnant, it wasn't even a question. I always wanted to work outside of the home. Then I had her and everything changed and I momentarily contemplated a life of being home with her all the time and that life seemed pretty incredible but it also came with its own set of risks. I think ever since my husband was laid off in 2009, it has made us extra paranoid about job stability and the economy and although things are wonderful now and we are so blessed to both have jobs, you just never know and I don't know if it's a risk we're willing to take, especially as we're growing our family.

Harper will start daycare at the beginning of September. The daycare she is going to comes highly recommended by a lot of friends and gets fantastic reviews.  Harper is a fairly easy-going baby so I hope she will be happy and thrive there and I'm excited for the socialization she will get with other babies. The daycare has lots of activities for baby's development and they also take the babies on stroller rides everyday. We go to orientation soon so I hope that will help us feel even more confident in our decision.

I'm hoping and praying that I'll find a way to have balance at work and at home. A way to feel fulfilled both as a mother and as a woman with a career.  If you are a working mom and have any words of wisdom or just want to share your experience, please leave me a comment below!  I also want to thank everyone for their support. Quite a few of you have sent emails and notes of encouragement on Instagram and I really appreciate it :)