Harper Reese- Birth Story Part II

This part of Harper's birth story is more difficult for me to write than Part I, because this is a story about the unexpected...I still get teary-eyed thinking about it today.

I had a wonderful birth experience and a beautiful 8 pound, 3 ounce baby who ended up being whisked away to the level II NICU about an hour or so after she was born. I feel so fortunate that I got to do some skin-to-skin bonding with her beforehand. I'll cherish that forever.

Kevin holding Harper right after she was born.

After she was born, both she and I had spiked fevers for a brief period of time and no one knew why.  The neonatal response team was called to my room and because I wasn't group-B strep positive and didn't have any other known infections, she had to be taken to the NICU to be started on IV antibiotics as a precaution while doctors ran 24 and 48 hour blood cultures. By the time she got to the NICU she wasn't having any temperature spikes, so that was good news.

My husband went with her to the NICU---I wanted him to, I felt so powerless and I didn't want our newborn to be alone.  It all seemed to happen so quickly. One moment we were in this blissful state admiring our sweet baby girl and the next she was being taken to the NICU.  I was still recovering from the birth and epidural and there I was alone in my labor and delivery room. I had never felt so alone in my life, ever.  I remember just crying in my hospital bed alone and praying she was okay.

While Kevin was in the NICU with Harper I continued to be in a state of shock. I had a complication-free pregnancy and a healthy delivery and she had a 9 Apgar score when she was born so I thought we were in the clear.  My hormones were in overdrive and all I wanted was to get out of that room and go and see our little girl but I wasn't allowed to leave until I could walk again.

When Kevin got back to the L&D room, I asked my nurse if we could be moved to the mother/baby unit. I told her I felt fine and that I could feel my legs (that was true).  She knew I was anxious, I had cried in front of her about 20 minutes prior.  I asked if I could try to walk and go to the bathroom so she and Kevin helped me out of the bed. I was able to use the restroom and as I got up to wash my hands I started to feel really dizzy.  Then, everyone's voices began to sound like they were in a tunnel. I had to sit down in the wheelchair and rest for a moment.  The nurse insisted that I eat before we transferred rooms. She was right. I realized I hadn't eaten since early that morning before we went to the hospital.  I felt a lot better once I ate and we were finally able to move to the mother/baby unit, though we were without our baby. 

Our hospital practices family-centered care so babies room-in with parents but we couldn't have her with us until she was cleared from the NICU.  So we settled into our new room and I asked my nurse for a breast pump so I could try to express some colostrum to feed to Harper in the NICU.  Fortunately our hospital is very pro-breastfeeding and they offer pasteurized donor breast milk for babies so her first feedings were of my colostrum and donor breast milk which I'm incredibly thankful for as studies show that those first feedings are so crucial for the development of baby's intestines.

I was able to pump a syringe of colostrum and Kevin took me in a wheelchair to the NICU to visit Harper.  I saw her laying there with all of the monitors and an IV and it just broke my heart---but at the same time I knew she was getting the best care and I am a "better safe than sorry" type of person so I'm glad they were being precautious. Still, it was really hard to see her like that and to know we had to go back to our room without her.

Visiting Harper in the NICU

We didn't get much sleep that night. We were both still stunned at what happened.  Why did we spike fevers?  Was she going to be okay? When would we see the results from her blood cultures?

The next day we returned to the NICU where I worked with a lactation consultant to feed her.  She had issues with her latch from the start so I continued to pump colostrum.  We got the news later that day that Harper could come back to our room and continue get her IV treatments there. Thank goodness. We just wanted to be with our baby.

Working with lactation consultants in the NICU the day after she was born

Having her back in our room was wonderful. I loved being able to hold her and feed her  without all of those wires.  Later that evening we got the news that her billiruben levels were high and so they administered phototherapy right there in our room.  I felt sad seeing our baby girl go through so much those first couple of days of life, but I was also simultaneously grateful for the care she was receiving.

Feeding Harper pasteurized donor breast milk, 

so thankful for the generous moms who donate

Though it was hard to go through, I feel lucky that I had such a supportive partner to go through it all with. It's totally cliche, but my husband was my rock during those first few days of Harper's life. He still is!

After Harper's phototherapy was complete, her pediatrician visited us in the hospital and said he thought we could go home that evening.  We were elated but also worried because we hadn't yet gotten the 48 hour blood culture results yet---but the 24 hour results came back negative so our pediatrician was confident that the fever was completely random and that there was no infection. He ended up being right---her 48 hour cultures did come back negative.

Harper under the billi lights

We took her home the evening of May 29th and the next morning, I woke up realizing it was my 30th birthday. My "golden year."  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to be at home as a family of three.  It was such a blessing to have her home, my dream come true.

Finally going home...our cart full of our things, presents, etc...

We took her to the pediatrician's office on my birthday to have her billi levels re-checked and they were still elevated but not enough to continue phototherapy.  She had also lost weight so our pediatrician wanted us to just focus on feeding her and making sure she was having enough wet and dirty diapers.


It's been three and a half weeks now and we are all settled in at home and Harper is doing great.  Even though her first few days of life were a bit stressful and full of uncertainty, I'm still happy with my birth experience because all I ever hoped for was that we would be able to take our baby home and start our life as a family, regardless of what happened on the way there.

Thank you for reading and for all of the wonderful comments and support many of you left when we were in the hospital and over the last few weeks.  

I will definitely also be writing a post about postpartum recovery as I know that has been highly requested.

Harper Reese- A Birth Story, Part I

From the very beginning of my pregnancy, I always had the same attitude about the birth of our daughter---as long as we are both safe and healthy at the end of it all, that would be my ideal birth experience. I didn't have any kind of "plan" going in, and this is a story about the day our lives changed forever.

On Saturday, May 25th, Candice and I went to the spa at Hotel ZaZa to enjoy pedicures and some relaxing pool time.  Since we were just a few days out from my 30th birthday, I figured it would be the perfect day to just sit back, relax and get in my last pedicure before our little girl arrived.  I felt completely fine that day, save the normal discomforts of being 39 weeks and some days pregnant.

The next morning, Sunday May 26th, I woke up to use the bathroom and had some bleeding (sorry, TMI, but anyone who has had a baby knows the deal).  I woke up my husband and told him what was up. I wasn't feeling any pain and maybe had a few dull cramps throughout the day. Nothing intense.  My husband and I met a friend for Thai food at lunch time and I continued to eat copious amounts of pineapple hoping to jump-start my labor (totally an old wive's tale).  I had seen my OB on Thursday that week and once again, no progress, so I was convinced our baby would be born the first week of June instead of on or before my May 29th due date.

Sunday night I was experiencing some lower back pain (but it wasn't constant), cramping down low (again, not constant) and a lot of pressure in my behind area (which I later learned was due to the fact that the baby's head was SO low). I also had some Braxton Hicks contractions.

Before we went to bed, I told my husband that if I start to have actual contractions, no matter what time of night/early morning it is, that he should tell me to get in the shower and wash my hair.  I was rocking some 4th day hair and all I could think was if I went into labor and was in the hospital for a few days it would just be a mess. I wanted to have clean hair if I was going to be in the hospital for several days, haha.

I woke up on Monday, May 27th at 4 a.m. with a little more bleeding and this is when I first started to feel contractions. I woke up my H and he downloaded an app on my iPhone while we were in bed to monitor how far apart the contractions were. In the beginning they were about 10 minutes apart and then quickly progressed to 8 and then 7 minutes apart.  Remembering that I really wanted to wash my hair, I got in the shower at around 5 a.m. Thirty minutes later my hair was washed, blow-dried and set in velcro rollers (I just did my normal hair routine, nothing out of the ordinary).  My contractions started to get more intense (painful) and closer together as I was blow drying my hair so I had to stop many times to lay on my side in bed and get through each contraction.  By the time my hair was done I decided I wanted to put some makeup on and began applying it.  This is when the contractions got really bad. There was some cursing, tears and repeated cries "why is this happening to meeeeee" and "it's hurts SOOOO bad."  Those were my two most used lines throughout early labor.

It was kind of hilarious applying makeup between contractions.  Judge all you want, but I wanted to look nice in the photos and didn't know how long I'd be in labor.  At this point, my contractions were a good 3-5 minutes apart, lasting about a minute every time.  I applied my makeup pretty quickly, stopping between contractions.

I had called my OB at about 7 a.m. and learned that she was away for the Memorial Day long weekend. The OB on call told me I should come to the hospital and get checked out since my contractions were so intense/close together.  My husband and I got into the car with all of our hospital bags and on the way to the hospital I had about 4 contractions so intense that I was just crying through them (and yelling PLEASE DRIVE FASTER...okay maybe I didn't say "please"). We arrived at the hospital and I got into a wheelchair, still having contractions and my husband took us up to the assessment floor where I was immediately admitted.  I was checked when I got there and was already 3-4 cm dilated. The baby's head was super low and the OB told me that is likely what is causing me to have so much pain/pressure in addition to the contractions.  

I'm going to be completely honest---the pain from the contractions was the most horrible, awful pain I have ever experienced in my life.  It was so intense I honestly didn't know how I would make it through each one and I just kept praying and praying that the pain would lessen (um, no.)  

After being assessed they immediately admitted me to labor and delivery and we were moved to our room there.  I asked for the epidural pretty much as soon as I got to the hospital so they called anesthesiology as soon as I got to L & D.  I was checked again and was dilated to 5 c.m. with super close contractions. At this point they were so close together that I felt I hardly got a break from the pain and I just wondered how I would survive it if the anesthesiologist didn't walk through the door within the next minute. 

Fortunately, the team soon arrived and they asked me a bunch of questions and explained the epidural to me and I signed the consent forms---I had to have them stop explaining things between contractions because the pain was so intense at that point that I literally couldn't hold any focus until one was over.  Finally just 15 or so minutes later the anesthesiologist had me sitting on the side of the bed and was administering my epidural. In my pain-filled haze I kept telling him how he was my favorite person that day and how thankful I was for him and his profession.  The nurses were all cracking up because they said usually patients are just swearing and going crazy and I was actually making them laugh (with me...at me? ha, who knows---but my L&D nurse was awesome---nurse Jackie!).

The epidural did not hurt AT ALL.  I felt a little sting when the lidocaine went in and a little pressure with the actual epi but it did not hurt one bit. In fact, I'd argue that getting an IV in your arm or hand is more uncomfortable (but again, not painful). I'm not afraid of needles though so maybe it was just easy for me in that regard. I was in so much pain I wouldn't have even cared if the epidural did hurt---as long as it worked.

And work it did.  Oh my gosh it was the sweetest relief I've ever felt in my life.  Suddenly, a sense of calm came over me and I was a normal person again. I could have conversations and actually enjoy the anticipation of meeting our baby girl without feeling like I was going to die if I had just one more contraction. Maybe that's a bit dramatic, but my labor had progressed quite quickly and it was all so intense and painful that it was the best feeling in the entire world to be numb from feeling that pain.

The OB on call came to visit and check on me and at this point (after the epi) I had progressed to 6 c.m.  She told me she called my OB and that my OB was in Galveston for the long weekend. I told her that I love my OB and of course I would love for her to deliver our baby but that I totally understood it was a holiday long weekend and I didn't want to take away from her family time.  She came back 30 minutes later and told me my OB was on her way back, driving to the hospital to deliver our baby. I was so taken aback by the fact that she would drive back just for our baby. That is why I love her so much, she's a wonderful physician.

About an hour or so after I got the epi, my labor had stalled a bit at 6 c.m.  They broke my water and waited and then when I hadn't progressed after that they started me on a very low dose of Pitocin to speed things along and it worked.  I kept getting checked and was continuing to make progress.  My OB was still on her way to the hospital and the nurse was instructed to try some "practice pushes" with me. I was so shocked at how fast it all went that I couldn't believe I would be delivering our baby soon. I know I use this word all the time, but it felt surreal.

My OB arrived and the team got ready for me to push.  Pushing was intense because once you have the epi you can't really "feel" where to push so I tried my best to just focus and breathe and listen to my OB and labor nurse (there was also a resident there).  I pushed for about an hour or so and the entire time my OB would tell me how low her head was and how close we were. At one point they told me to reach down so I could feel her head and I will admit that it did encourage me to really persevere and motivated my pushing. I had a blanket over my chest/belly area but towards my last few pushing cycles I watched her head progressively coming out and once again, it just felt really surreal that she would come out and be handed to me. 

My husband was awesome the entire time too---he was a huge cheerleader for me and really made the experience even better. Now I know why they always say having a baby will make you fall in love with your husband all over again and more intensely than ever before.

During my final push, she came out, crying really loud and HUGE (8 lbs. 3 ounces)!  I always imagined myself having an emotional breakdown when she was born but I was just all smiles and kept saying "oh my gosh she's so cute" and just enjoying those first few moments meeting her for the first time. As soon as they placed her on my chest she immediately grasped my finger with her hand. It was so incredible. I couldn't believe she came out of me and I couldn't believe she was ours. After some cuddling, Harper was taken to the warmer to get her vitals checked (she had an Apgar score of 9!) and then Kevin got to hold her as they stitched me up.  Without getting too TMI, let's just say there were some tears...and they still hurt as I write this post.

On May 27th at 6:23 p.m., our lives were changed forever. We became parents to the beautiful, adorable, tiny life that we created. I feel so privileged that God made this plan for us.  

Overall, I feel really great about my birth experience---there were some ups and downs when Harper was in the NICU and like any new mom I was full of worry---but all of her tests came back negative and she needed some brief phototherapy like a lot of babies do for jaundice.  I'm glad I went in without a birth plan---I feel like I just listened to my body and the doctors and nurses and when my sweet baby girl was placed in my arms nothing else mattered. She was finally here.

I'm going to write a part II to this birth story including details about Harper's brief NICU stay and recovering at the hospital. I will also be talking about breastfeeding and pumping and how that has been going for us.

Thank you for reading and thank you to all of my readers who have been so incredibly supportive throughout my entire pregnancy. I am blessed to have so many people who I consider to be friends in the blogging community.