The synonym of heartbreak

Hello readers and friends---today I'm sharing a different kind of post, written by my friend and co-worker, Hasti. When I learned that Hasti was named a Woman of the Year candidate by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, I wasn't surprised at all, because Hasti's heart is as big as her smile. She is one of the kindest and most hardworking women I know, and I'm honored to call her a friend and work with her on a daily basis. Hasti is raising money to benefit those fighting cancer---and below is her story...


The first time the word cancer truly affected me I was about 12 years old, standing next to my grandfather's hospital bed praying for him to wake up and be ok. I was in Santa Barbara for the summer staying with my grandparents when one night I woke up to baba being taken to the hospital. He wasn't feeling well and it was a very scary night. I remember hearing the word cancer so clearly that next morning. It was just me and my uncle in the ICU room with him when the doctor explained it could be cancer. The word I held on to was "could!" It made it seem less certain. Unfortunately it was certain. My grandfather whom I loved with all of my heart and soul, who taught me how to read newspapers before other kids could even read children's books, who carried me on his shoulders to the park, who would buy me books that were much too complex for my age, who was the only person to call me "my daughter," had advanced cancer. He left us long before I was ready to say goodbye. He was young, only in his mid-70s, and I wanted him to keep teaching me how to be a writer and how to be so cool, calm and collected. I wanted to keep growing up with the most intellectual man I have known helping me along the way. I didn't get that chance, but our short time together has affected me more than I could have ever imagined at 13 when I lost him.  

My grandpa worked in communications in a job very similar to my current position. He was adored by many. I'll never forget my other grandfather crying the day we lost him. That's the kind of man he was. He was one of my greatest role models and there isn't a day when I don't wonder how much more he would have taught me if he had been around a few more years. I wonder how he would've loved that I pursued journalism after watching him read newspapers and learning to read the news with him. I wonder if he would be proud of me. 15 years since his passing and I still get choked up writing about him. 

I hate cancer. It is a nasty word with an awful meaning. Since my grandpa's death I've known many others with cancer. I've lost loved ones, both of my grandfathers and celebrated with others who beat that awful disease. Now cancer is something I help fight. As a writer for Texas Children's Hospital, I try to communicate the great work of our incredible staff members who are helping kids beat cancer every day. Most recently, I am fighting cancer by helping raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. As a candidate for Woman of the Year, I've vowed to raise money to fund research that will hopefully one day eradicate blood cancers and in the meanwhile, the money will help families suffering after hearing the devastating diagnosis. The man and woman of the year campaign is a competition between 10 men and 10 women who spend 10 weeks raising as much money as possible for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The winners are the man and woman who raise the most. 

This Friday, May 30th, my fundraising efforts will be over but no matter the result, there will be one little boy who I will forever remember. His name is James and his family found out he had leukemia just as they were getting ready to embark on a family trip.  They were expecting their second baby and James was just an infant. They were in for the journey of a lifetime and just a few years later, little James is cancer free and has been named the boy of the year. He and his family have vowed to share their story to help raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society which they credit with helping save their son's life. I have vowed to campaign in James' honor. He has touched by life and will forever be the best part of my 10-week campaign. 

What are you doing today to help kids like James? Here's your chance to join the fight. From now until Friday at 5PM, please donate as little or as much as you can. Every dollar is one step closer to finding a cure. What I've learned from my grandfather's time here is that your impact on other lives is all you leave behind. I hope I am able to make a difference in someone's life.

Click here to donate: 
http://www.mwoy.org/pages/txg/houston14/htaghi
 
-Hasti Taghi

Harper Reese- 12 Months Old!

It's the eve of Harper's first birthday and I have so much to say�but it's so hard to summarize our entire amazing year�I never feel I can find the right words or write it as beautifully as it deserves to be captured.

But this will be published on her birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET BABY HARPER REESE! 

How can I summarize this year and do it justice? (I can't) It has been the most incredible year, the most fun, the most challenging, the funniest, the scariest. You made me a mother and with that you showed me the kind of love that makes your heart feel like it's exploding into millions of pieces. You've shown me patience, made me stronger and better and helped grow me into the woman I always wished I would be.

You made me a mother and you gave me the world through your sweet, innocent, beautiful eyes. The day you were born, I could never imagine what you would be like a year from now---and now life is forever changed as I watch you grow and learn and thrive and I'm so lucky---we are so lucky and grateful to be your parents.

Your smile lights up my world, your laugh makes my heart melt and every time you learn something new or show me you understand something new, I'm just in awe of you.

From that sweet tiny little newborn nestled in my arms in our hospital bed to the walking, vocal, determined baby girl you are today, you have changed our lives forever in the very best way imaginable.

Happy birthday my life, my love, my beauty. We love you so much.

Harper's 12 month updates:

Weight/Height: Harper is 30.5 inches tall (89th percentile), 23.06 lbs (88th percentile) and her head is 17.5 inches (37th percentile).

Health: Other than a 48-hour tummy bug, Harper has been doing great health-wise. She's teething right now and she was definitely clingier and fussier than usual today. Poor baby teething on her birthday...

Sleep: Yay for sleeping through the night! This babe sleeps consistently from about 7:45 ish through 6 or 6:30 a.m. Once in awhile she will wake up in the middle of the night and go back to sleep on her own. Rarely, one of us has to actually go into her room. This has been huge for us because getting enough sleep makes life a lot easier as parents. 

Social: Lots of playdates, starting Little Gym this summer and daily play with daycare friends during the week. What we've noticed lately is that Harper really scopes out new situations. She is rarely outgoing, smiley and vocal when we arrive somewhere new. She gets very very serious and her facial expressions show it! Once she has been there for awhile and explored a bit, her usual self comes right out and she's back to being the smiley loving girl she always is. 

Diet: Harper is still getting frozen pumped milk. I'm really stressed about the transition to WCM�we were supposed to start this past weekend and we couldn't because she was recovering from her tummy bug�so now, we basically have to try and transition in about a week because we have to travel. I hope she takes to it well because the logistics of bringing a ton of frozen milk onto a plane are not ones I want to deal with.

If you have any advice on transitioning, I'm all ears! We are going to mix WCM into her bottles 25/75 then 50/50 etc. to get her used to the taste. She likes most foods so maybe she will take well to it�but she loves those bottles so I'm guessing it will be a challenge.

She's still doing great with solids---eating a lot of veggies, grains and fruits daily as well as cheese, eggs and Greek yogurt. She self-feeds really wonderfully and is very enthusiastic about food. 

Likes: Walking is her biggest like right now�she hardly ever crawls anymore! She also likes to test boundaries, take things in and out of boxes, play with her very own Tupperware cabinet, pull bows out of her hair, point to everything, say "mooo" for cow, pushing things to slide along the floor, Boo the dog, carrying her basket, putting hair bows in her basket, playing peek-a-boo with nearly anything that can cover her face, remote controls, being read to (she will point at her book if she wants to read it again or get another one)

Dislikes: Hair bows! The days of the headbands are over for now, folks. She will wear clip in bows, but not headbands, no matter which one I try. She just pulls them right off. Maybe it's a phase, maybe not, we shall see! She also very much dislikes waiting for her food. She wants it NOW!

Postpartum: I was hoping to be done pumping and that hasn't worked out quite how I expected/planned. I'm a little bit stressed because we have to travel soon and I'm not bringing that pump with me. My milk production has dropped to about 3 oz in a five minute pumping session (and I'm pumping for relief only) but then after about 48 hours my breasts start to feel painful and I can feel clogs and I feel like I have to pump and the cycle starts all over again. I tried cabbage leaves too�hopefully I can just get through the pain and the clogs won't turn into something worse.

To be honest, I'm a little bit afraid of the hormone crash that's going to come when my milk completely stops. Did that happen to you? Would love to hear your experiences with weaning.

Overall though, I'm so proud to have met my goal of Harper receiving my breast milk for an entire year! (yay!)

Clothes: Harper is wearing some 12-18 and 18-24. She's in size 4 diapers.

Crying: Harper is still having some tantrums but they're getting shorter. Once we started to ignore and/or redirect, they've improved. She still tests our boundaries a lot (touch things on purpose she knows she's not supposed to, watching to see our reaction when she does this, etc). Things have (temporarily I'm sure) improved since last month.

Milestones: She finally said "mama!" She doesn't say it a lot but I'm so happy when she does. She walks everywhere, doesn't crawl much anymore. She understands so much�goes to her highchair when she's hungry, points at absolutely everything, can follow many commands and identify objects ("where's your book?/go get me your panda"). She can also "answer" simple questions like "where does your shoe go?" and she will look down and grab her foot. The first time she did it I thought it was a fluke, but nope, girl knows where her socks and shoes belong. 

Thank you so much to each and every one of you who have read my blog and supported me throughout the first year of motherhood. For your comments, advice and overall sweetness, I'm grateful for y'all.

Our Weekend...

On Sunday morning we woke up and Harper was finally recovered from her 48-hour tummy bug (yay!) so we decided to head to the country club's where my in-laws are members to enjoy a day of sunshine and water.

It was Harper's first time ever at an outdoor pool and seeing her reactions to new experiences is just priceless! It's funny because when she's somewhere familiar, she's very smiley and playful and loud---but when she's somewhere new she gets very serious--- like she's just taking it all in and figuring it all out. Then after she's comfortable, she's back to her normal self.

It was really hot outside yesterday (probably 90 degrees or so)---but fortunately there were some clouds so we got some periods of shade. I was really nervous about Harper being out in the sun and water for a longer period of time and slathered her in sunscreen (we use Badger and Honest brand because they get great EWG ratings). 

I also had her wear a rash guard from Baby Gap which I'm glad I did since she ended up getting a tiny patch of pink skin on her left wrist. What a mom fail :( I felt so terrible�not sure if I missed a spot or what but I was applying and reapplying suncreen the entire time we were there to every area of skin and her hat was always on� I know redheads have more sensitive skin that is very prone to burning so I'm just going to have to be extra vigilant with sunscreen.

Harper looks like such a big girl here!

Her swimsuit/rashguard is from Baby Gap--- (similar here and here)

sweet snuggles�

Fun in the lazy river...

We had such a wonderful weekend! 

Today I want to say thank you to all of the women and men who serve and have served our country. God bless our troops and the families who everyday sacrifice so much so that we can enjoy the freedoms we have.