Fitness & Health: When You're Having a Tough Week...

This is incredibly cliche, but every single month, I find myself saying "this is my favorite age!" and the following month, I say it all over again.

I'm in awe of how much Harper is growing and learning right now--she's such a happy, joyful and smart little girl. I don't know if it's my hormones going haywire or what, but I've been really emotional lately.

When Harper didn't do much as a younger baby, I think that almost made dropping her off at daycare easier. I could justify in my mind that she would be sleeping a lot, etc. Now that she's so interactive and can understand more�it's incredibly difficult some days. She also started to cry almost every time I drop her off which has made it tough (even though she stops crying a minute after I leave). I think working outside of the home makes many mothers feel guilty, even when they enjoy what they do, but this stage is making it downright terrible some days.

There are days where I question myself having thoughts like "what the heck am I doing?!" and "she will never be this little again!" On my best days, I feel confident, happy and secure. On my worst days, I question if I made the right decision and wonder if I'm just doing it all wrong. I ask myself if I should just "take a few years off" but I quickly talk myself out of it because it simultaneously thrills and terrifies me. I know from talking to other moms that these feelings are completely normal...these mixed emotions are kind of par for the course when it comes to motherhood.

When we were in Toronto and we got to be out and about during the week, it felt so nice to have fun plans everyday. Going to the zoo, the aquarium, seeing friends, etc. I know that life as a SAHM isn't all fun and games (and that it's super hard and demanding) but it felt nice to plan my days how I wanted them and not have to worry about work, emails, upcoming projects, etc. It felt nice that I could just focus on one thing and it was incredible to watch Harper enjoy so many of those experiences.

Sometimes (okay, daily) I'll peek-in on Harper using the daycare's camera system (which I love) and I'll see her hugging her teachers. I'm so thankful she likes them so much and that they are such wonderful caregivers, but once in awhile I'll admit that it breaks my heart because I wish I was the one she was hugging on a random Tuesday at 11:52. Don't get me wrong--- I'm thrilled she hugs her caretakers and that she's happy at daycare, but sometimes I just want to leave my office at noon and spend the rest of the day doing something fun with her�enjoying her as she is at "my favorite age."

Harper has been going to sleep a bit later which is good because it means a little more time together in the evenings. She LOVES being outside so when it's not blazingly hot out, we try to get a little outdoor time in. The other night we played with sidewalk chalk and just let her explore the outdoor area of our house.

I have highs and lows, like any mom who works outside of the home (or one that stays at home). Sometimes, it helps me to remind myself of the things I should be appreciative of. It brings me back to a good place when I'm having a tough week...

I love my job

I actually enjoy and feel challenged by my job. I love the organization I work for and passionately believe in the mission. I realize not everyone can say that, and I feel lucky to work where I do.

My workplace is flexible and understanding

I have felxibility and incredible colleagues. My office environment is supportive of mothers and I can go to doctor's appointments, work from home very ocassionally and can leave early if I need to. That is something I see as a huge priviledge.

I love Harper's daycare and her caretakers

I feel trusting of the people who care for Harper. I feel they genuinely enjoy her and she is happy at her daycare. I'm glad that we were able to secure a spot in our top-choice daycare and that I feel comfortable bringing her there everyday.

I get to spend extra time with Harper in the morning and evenings

Our morning and evening routine isn't rushed. I hate feeling rushed, it totally stresses me out. We have time to eat breakfast or have coffee as Harper eats and we get to play a little bit and read books before leaving for daycare and work. We also have a few hours at home with her every night and those never feel rushed either.

Babies sleep

I always remind myself that Harper is asleep for at least two hours (or more) of her time at daycare. For some reason, it makes me feel better and I feel like those two hours "don't count" as time away from her. That may sound silly, but it works for me.

No matter what you choose, it isn't easy

Having friends on both sides of the spectrum has truly opened my eyes--- none of us have it easy. We all face struggles and battles whether we choose to stay at home, work outside of the home, work from home, etc� There is no "best" choice, just the one that's best for your family---and every choice has its pros and cons. I remind myself that I would still have stress, challenges, guilt, etc if I stayed at home.

It's okay to have good days and bad days

I think being on vacation recently made this week a tough one for me. Going from spending full days with Harper and being with family and friends to going back to work and getting back into the swing of things was not fun. I felt tired and overall just blah. But it will get better and I'll have plenty of great days soon.

I'm providing a good income and great health benefits for my family

This one speaks for itself, but I have great health insurance and I'm glad we can save as much as we can because we have two incomes.

These are just a few things I'm appreciative of when it comes to being a mom who works outside of the home. Of course there are many more, but these are just a few. Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves about all of the positives when it feels like a stormcloud is lurking over you one week.